These are all off the top of my head, don’t hold me to them. Unless they’re right, in which case I’m a genius.

Carlos Delgado: .210/.299/.340, 84 games
First manager fired: Ned Yost
Number of accusations that now I’m just baiting Brewer fans: 23
Dusty Baker throws Homer Bailey under the bus: April 17
Dusty throws Joey Votto under the bus: May 22
Jay Bruce: June 11
Dodgers’ most usual starting outfield, left to right: Juan Pierre, Andruw Jones, Delwyn Young
Number of times media points out that Joe Torre doesn’t know what he’s doing: 0
Number of times media will say that the Yankees would be winning with Torre: too many to count
Number of times Hank Steinbrenner says something stupid/insane: even more
Yankees not winning the division will be the fault of: A-Rod, of course
A-Rod’s numbers: .311/.430/.622, 47 HR
Best year nobody will notice because the team sucks: Roy Oswalt
New record: JJ Putz, 59 saves
Should have been a new record: Dusty benches Adam Dunn with two weeks to go, with Dunn trying to break the 200 strikeout plateau. Oh, and with 47 homers.
Worst team: Giants, 59-103
Best team: Red Sox, 100-62
Surprise team: Nats, above .500 until late July
Worst race: Cubs win NL Central by 12 games… with 87 wins
Best race: Braves, Phillies, Mets divided by three games
Most tediously overcovered race: AL East
Rangers finally turn catcher over to Saltalamacchia: Sept. 17
Stu’s new second-favorite team: Rays, when they pick Pedro Alvarez first overall
Worst token All-Star: Brian Wilson, Giants
Over/under on ESPN Beach Boy jokes about Wilson: 62 1/2, not counting repeats
Braves clinch: Saturday, Sept. 27, in Houston.
Last out: Brad Ausmus