So, there’s no Braves baseball game today, because Selig. Which means there will be no “game thread” per se today. So, in lieu of that, here’s a link to the inaugural episode of the new Braves podcast that Alan Honeycutt and I are doing. We call it “The Circle Change” and we curse, overhype Evan [...]
Archive for the 'Putative Humor' Category
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After a purchase by Kansas City Royals outfielder Jeff Francoeur fell through due to Francoeur’s inability to determine where the lines for his signature were, New York Mets owners the Wilpon family have agreed to sell a majority stake in the team immediately to New York Yankees co-owner and Senior Vice President Henry G. “Hank” [...]
Our 2011 Braves Journal Whipping Boy will be — to start with — Alex Gonzalez! No, not Alex Gonzalez, Alex Gonzalez! AAG outpolled Nate McLouth 99-92. He will hold the Whipping Boy title until we get totally fed up with George Sherrill. New poll.
FlaBravesFan supplies the picture, you supply the caption:
ANNOUNCER: From Kansas City, it’s the Jeff Francoeur show, starring Jeff Francoeur! I’m your announcer, Melky Cabrera, and tonight, Jeff’s guests are: Miley Cyrus! Verne Troyer! And The Baseball Project! And now, stand and cheer, here’s Jeffy! [AUDIENCE GIVES FIVE MINUTE STANDING OVATION] Jeff Francoeur: Thanks, thanks everybody. I know I deserve it, but it’s [...]
Well, the Phillies have reportedly signed Cliff Lee. Might as well cancel the 2011 season. Probably 2012 too, just to be on the safe side. Oh, let’s just shut down the game entirely. Obviously, the Phillies’ rotation is the most sublime thing ever created and it would sully it to make it actually have to [...]
So, why did Jeffy pay the Mets’ clubhouse guy $50,000 when he was traded? I”m sure there’s a perfectly innocent explanation: Reimbursement for 50,000 Hershey bars. Meant to pay $500 but has never gotten the hang of decimal points. Ransoming turkey underwear. I’m sure you all have your own theories.
So, the Rangers are going to the World Series, but after that, then what for Jeff Francoeur? He’s going to be non-tendered. Sure, there will be the inevitable contract offer from the Royals, but he’ll want to keep his options open. What are the career options for a guy with a high school education and [...]
The Giants were originally stationed in New York, but were ejected in 1957 for lewd behavior and disgusting personal habits. While Tim Lincecum is a well-known pothead, in fact all of the Giants’ starting pitchers are drug users. Barry Zito eats peyote, Matt Cain uses oxycontin, and Jonathan Sanchez drinks a bottle of Robitussin before [...]