Braves Journal, The House That Mac Built

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On a night when Dan Uggla hit a three run homer and BJ Upton hit a popup that carried to deep shortstop, the hero of this game was Julio Teheran. Joe Simpson would have you believe Gerald Laird’s outstanding game calling skills was the difference, like he was Crash Davis or something.

Nuke Teheran went eight and a third shutout innings  before Josh Willingham hit one off the bull. (But he gripped it like an egg…)  No word if the Braves will send Teheran to see Dr. Andrews, just to beat the rush.

After Willingham won a free steak, Luis Avilan forced a fly out to right and Corey Gearrin came on picked up the Save (TM).

On another note, the Braves only struck out four times tonight. The last three games have probably been the three best pitched games of the season.

That’s four in a row, it’s called a winning streak. 

ESPN Box Score

It was a weird game. If the rain didn’t make it long enough, Don Mattingly tried to with his constant pitching changes in the latter innings. I have some sympathy for him, since it’s not like any of his pitchers actually work.

Well, I guess you could say Matt Magill was, but it constantly seemed like he was about to give up the goose over his five innings of work. He didn’t, and so on the back of another strong outing by Mike Minor, the Braves found themselves down 2-1 going into a half-hour rain delay in the bottom of the 6th. When the rain abated, Mattingly went to work, using four different pitchers get his team through the next two innings with the lead.

That was as far as they’d get, though. The Braves managed 4 runs in the 8th on only three hits, helped out by a couple walks and a timely error on an attempted sacrifice bunt by Andrelton Simmons. The Braves did managed to get a sacrifice bunt down in the inning when Jordan Schafer executed a suicide squeeze two pitches after swinging away (and luckily it off) on a pitch where Gerald Laird had broken from third. Craig Kimbrel came on to pitch the 9th against the heart of the Dodger lineup and was absolutely filthy.

Things of note:
-Fredi managed to pinch hit not once but TWICE today with his catchers. Now granted, when Laird pinch hit (and singled! WTF!) Brian McCann had already been pinch-run for, but still. Fredi used his whole bench, and it was effective.
-I still have complete confidence in Jason Heyward. He’s still walking and hitting baseballs hard. He just hasn’t had much to show from it lately.
-I really enjoyed the crowd there. They stuck it out despite the rain delay and were up for all of Kimbrel’s two-strike, 2-out pitches. Good intensity, and I’m glad they were rewarded with the win.

Everybody knows what happens when the Braves start out slowly against a soft-tossing lefty: the lineup collectively curls up into the fetal position, the manager begins to “get creative,” and the hometown fans find themselves oddly, furtively, praying for rain. And so it seemed to be again, this time with the added indignity that the man to whom the Braves were showing themselves impotent bore a Dodgers uniform. As in, the Trolley Dodgers. As in, actually, the Los Angeles Trolley Dodgers. Because there is such a long and storied history of trolleys and streetcars in the greater Los Angeles area.

For 7 and 1/3 innings the Braves held true to form. Well into the 8th inning, the lineup that last night seemed so fearsome managed a mere four hits (and no walks) against Chris Capuano, the platonic ideal of pitcher who stymies the best the Braves ever boast.

But then something happened. Well, to be exact, three things happened. First, BJ Upton, a man whose OPS is almost in violation of standards first established by Warren Burger in Miller v. California, singled to left. Then Evan Gattis, no believer in tired narratives, mashed a go-ahead, pinch-hit home run. And finally Andrelton Simmons, the kind of leadoff hitter Dusty Baker used to like, hit an even longer home run to left. The Braves had taken a 3-1 lead, and Craig Kimbrel came in to seal the deal: which he did with a dominant ninth.

It’s nice for the Braves to win a game like this one for a number of reasons. It’s nice because Kris Medlen pitched a hell of a game – the lone run he surrendered was on a poorly played double by Justin Upton in the 4th – and it always sucks to spoil great starts. It’s also nice because (seemingly) for the past four weeks, the Braves have won the opening matchup in a given series and, in any number of ways, fallen apart thereafter. Tonight they obviously didn’t; tonight, in fact, they won the series, and that always feels good. But mostly it’s nice because the schedule is finally getting softer and the time seems ripe for this team to solidify its hold on the NL East. A night like tonight provided no fodder for the usual excuses – they’ve been on the road for awhile! the opponent is really good! the other team’s pitcher is Madison Bumgarner! – and thankfully, we don’t have to make any.

The Braves should have won tonight, and they won. Let’s enjoy that for a minute. Let’s enjoy that at least until tomorrow afternoon, when we’ll all obviously forget it and watch them go for the sweep against one Matt Magill.

ESPN Box Score

Sorry for the late recap!

So here’s what happened last night: Jason Heyward came back and got two hits and a walk, both Paul Maholm and Eric O’Flaherty gave up a homer to Scott Van Slyke, and Justin Upton did this when the bases were juiced:

According to hittrackeronline.com, it went 454 feet.

Maholm is an okay pitcher who has pitched quite well in a Braves uniform. He’s fine as a #3/#4 starter; he usually tends to keep his teams in a position to win, which is what happened last night. Eric O’Flaherty has been worked awfully hard, and we’ll just have to hope that he isn’t broken like Jonny Venters is. Fortunately, Avilan was good and Craig Kimbrel was his nasty self. (For what it’s worth, according to Brooksbaseball.net, his four-seamer averaged 98 mph last night.)

Heyward’s 2-4 night raised his average to .145, while B.J. Upton’s 0-4 night lowered his average to .141. It’s going to be a long slog for Upton. We just have to hope it won’t be as long as it was for Carl Crawford, who suffered through two awful injury-plagued years in Boston before finally finding rejuvenation in a new city after his old team managed to dump his contract. But the only way that Upton will get out of this is by playing. We’ve heard that he’s working hard and has been seeking out the help of the coaches, so he’s approaching this with the right attitude. But he may have to stay in the 8th hole for a while.

However, Heyward’s night was great to see. He saw 24 pitches in five plate appearances, reaching base three times with a double, a single, and a walk. He had a nice, quick stroke on the double, and played his usual beautiful defense. A healthy Heyward makes this club so much better.

Beating the Dodgers is one of the great joys in life. Let’s go do it again.

With 40 games in the hopper, this seems like a convenient time to take a closer look at how the Braves’ offense is stacking up against its NL peers (all numbers through 5/15).

Braves OPS by position (w/NL rank):
C — 856 (T-1st with PIT)
1B — 829 (8th)
2B — 711 (7th)
3B — 779 (4th)
SS — 664 (10th)
LF — 918 (3rd)
CF — 576 (13th)
RF — 709 (10th, but somehow 1st in the division!)
P — 445 (2nd to LAD)
PH — 670 (5th)

A few surprises in there — we know McCann, Gattis & Laird (was gonna make a law firm joke here, but doesn’t any grouping of three last names sound like a law firm?) have hit well, but I didn’t think they’d be tied for the NL lead (BTW, did anyone predict this Russell Martin resurgence?). Despite diverging opinions on their relative worth, it turns out Freeman and Uggla are each squarely in the middle of his respective pack. Two teams’ CFs have managed to underperform Bupton. Jupton has fallen behind usual suspects Braun and CarGo. And, unlike in 2012, the team is getting some extra hidden production from its pinch-hitters and pitching staff (last year’s totals were 298 and 475, respectively).

Top 5 NL positions by OPS:
CIN CF — 1052 (Shin-Soo Choo — who had THAT?!)
ARI 1B — 994 (Paul Goldschmidt)
MIL CF — 993 (Carlos Gomez)
COL LF — 968 (Carlos Gonzalez)
COL SS — 950 (Troy Tulowitzki)

Bottom 5 NL positions by OPS:
CIN C — 504 (a close race, but any team that voluntarily employs Corky Miller is a big favorite to win the day)
NYM 1B — 514 (Ike Davis …. LOLMets)
LAD 3B — 515 (thanks largely to a .100/.135/.100 showing by Luis Cruz)
NYM CF — 517 (might have been last a couple of days ago…fortunately Rick Ankiel has arrived …. again, LOLMets)
PIT SS — 523 (Clint Barmes)

A couple of other notes: No Marlins position is currently carrying even a 700 OPS. And that NL bottom 5 can’t hold a candle to the Mariners shortstops, where Brendan Ryan and Robert Andino have combined for a 318 OPS. 15 singles and a dozen walks comprise the totality of their offensive contributions at the position. So, hey, at least we don’t have to look at that.

May 18, 1906
The Memphis Chicks pound out 11 hits and 12 runs in the 7th inning of a game against the Birmingham Barons. Barons pitcher Harry “Slim” Sallee, would face 16 batters in the inning and take the loss in the 18-3 pasting. Sallee would have a 14 year career in the Major Leagues, primarily the St. Louis Cardinals and New York Giants, posting a 173-143 record. Birmingham would win the Southern League title in 1906, with Memphis in 2nd place, 8 games behind.

May 19, 1905
Charleston (SC) Sea Gulls owner and manager Ed Ashenback sells the South Atlantic (Sally) League franchise to a group headed by Frank Petit and Charles Mathews. The purchase price is reported as $3,500. The Sea Gulls would finish the season in 5th place, 23 ½ games behind first place Macon.

Tim Hudson had another unfortunate inning, the Braves left 12 dudes on base, and Atlanta finished a road trip that ended 4-6 but felt about 4-60 for as long and futile as it was. Baseball back at Turner Field can’t come fast enough.

The Braves and Diamondbacks traded early runs and were deadlocked through four innings. In the top of the fifth, Atlanta appeared to seize the upper hand when Freddie Freeman knocked in Jordan Schafer, (who had reached base on a bunt single inelegantly fielded by Martin Prado), and Justin Upton (who had walked). The lead would not last long.

In the bottom of the inning, Arizona put a pair of runners on with one out. Didi Gregorius – and allow me to settle this question, he’s a Trappist Dubbel available at your neighborhood’s best beer bar in a special goblet for like $9 a pour – hit an RBI single to get the Diamondbacks back on the board. Paul Goldschmidt – who, if we’re playing this game, is a form of boilermaker popular with college kids looking to get hammered on cheap booze – struck out, but Eric Chavez doubled to score two and put the Diamondbacks ahead. Cody Ross drove in an insurance run, and that was all Arizona needed.

In each of the next three innings, the Braves put runners on first and second and could go no further. The best you can say about those situations are that twice they occurred with one out and Fredi successfully resisted the impulse to bunt, although the results don’t give us much ammunition to tell him not to next time. Heath Bell, who is the second-highest paid player on the Marlins this year, gave up just one baserunner in the ninth, and that was the end of that road trip.

The Braves get out of Arizona, which is good of itself because Arizona is just a font of stupidity. Their fans booed Justin Upton, who they had themselves helped run out of town for 50 cents on the dollar, and who reached base nine times during the series. Their sports media folk continued to pander to stupid by making arguments like this. And their uniform design people continued to act like putting “D-Backs” across the front of a jersey in a snakey-looking font is a valid way to dress grown men going out in public. I understand “Diamondbacks” is a long, awkward thing to try to fit across the front of a shirt, and I have to admit it’s at least better than what they did back in the day, but really the only logical move for that franchise is to forgo the word entirely and just put the club mark on one side of the shirt. Last time they did that, they won a World Series the same year. I’m just saying.

Though, if that were to happen this year, the internet might break from the weight of all the Justin Upton troll columns coming out of Phoenix, so maybe just forget I said that. Losing that series was annoying enough.

So, honestly, do you want a recap of that game? Really? Okay. Fine.

Julio Teheran pitched pretty damned well. His only rough patch was the third inning, which never should have happened at all. He gave up a single, then Gerado Parra popped out to the infield, but no one thought “huh, I should catch that.” So instead, it was a “double.” Then some person whose parents actually named him “Didi Gregorius,” intentionally I suppose, singled in two runs.

And that was it. Luis Avilan pitched a perfect seventh and Anthony Varvaro got through the eighth with only a single to Paul Goldschmidt, and that was all of it.

The problem being, of course, that some child named Patrick Corbin, who is two years younger than Guns ‘n Roses’ Appetite for Destruction by the way, did essentially the same thing for the D-Backs. Only he was gritty and determined and Kirk Gibson taught him to know how to win or something, so he didn’t have that “hey, let’s not catch the popup to the mound” moment, and so the Braves lost 2-0.

So that was the game, really. Feel good about Teheran putting up another really good start. Feel bad about getting shut down by whomever the hell “Patrick Corbin” is. Mull over, in your spare time, the fact that the Braves are now essentially even stevens recordwise with the “need more grit, less Upton” Diamondbacks we’ve been mocking all offseason.

Now, let’s talk about something important instead.

Who the hell names a child Didi Gregorious? Is he the older sister from Dexter’s Lab or a 15th century monk? How can he be both? Does he wear pink bows in his tonsure? Is he creepily stalked by Mandark, but in a weirdly homoerotic manner now? Why would you do that to a child? I mean, you might be stuck with Gregorious as a last name, and I get the whole “we’re from the Dutch Antilles, we have really goofy, not-normal names down here! We’re crazy Kingdom of the Dutch out the wazzoo!” thing. But seriously. Didi? Didi Gregorious?!

I do not approve. Though, given that his full name is Mariekson Julius Gregorius… Why, parents? Why?!

So: maybe you’ve never heard of The Cleaners from Venus. They were an obscure lo-fi jangle pop band in Britain in the ’80s and never really had anything approaching a hit. They were essentially the brainchild of a guy named Martin Newell, who swapped out bandmates while making cassette recordings of songs he wrote; in the ’80s, there was a bit of a cassette-swapping underground in the UK, of whom the best-known band by far is Chumbawumba. Newell went solo with an album called The Greatest Living Englishman that received some attention because it was produced by XTC’s Andy Partridge; other than that, Newell has retreated to being musically obscure but moderately well known in his native land as a poet.

Anyhoo, he has been making solo albums pretty regularly for the last two decades, but he recently brushed off the Cleaners moniker, made a new album as The Cleaners from Venus, and started rereleasing the old cassette albums. Volume 1 came out last year; Vol. 2 came out today. I’m not plugging you to buy it; hell, I don’t even remember my old Amazon Associates link. But you at least ought to know about them. Here’s one of my favorite songs from the collection released today:

Associated Braves Journal Press

–Phoenix

Phoenix Police arrested Atlanta Braves General Manager Frank Wren on theft charges.  The charges stem from an incident this past winter when Wren allegedly stole Arizona Diamondbacks outfielder Justin Upton.

Wren is being represented by Dewey, Cheatham and Howe,  who gave  Associated Braves Journal Press the following statement:

The charges against our client are categorically false.  (Giggle, Giggle) He left Martin Prado and Randall Delgado in Upton’s place! (more muffled giggling)

In a related manner, police have also called in Prado and Delgado for questioning. At this time a PPD is maintaining the stance that Prado and Delgado are not being charged at this time, but are potential accomplices of Wren’s.

 Upton was seen last night in the Phoenix area. Eyewitnesses claim they saw Upton have four hits, including a massive homerun.

The witnesses claim Upton was not acting alone. An alleged gang of individuals, identifiable by their blue shirts, also ran wild in the Phoenix  area last night. The a few of the suspects identified include a Brian McCann and a Mike Minor. McCann is alleged to have also hit a home run while Minor ran interference for six and two-thirds innings.

There were also witnesses who claimed Chris Johnson, who went missing around the same time Upton was allegedly stolen, had three hits with a home run.

Wren is scheduled to have a bond hearing this morning. Experts believe that his bond will be three hotdogs and a Hank Aaron baseball in return for the Grand Canyon.  

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