I am tired of Derek Lowe, and yet, I get to watch him for two more entire seasons. Can’t we trade him to Houston or Arizona or somebody? Lowe, who does not know how to win, didn’t even wait until he sixth inning to collapse today, giving up two runs in the second and two more in the fourth. He has an unerring instinct for maximizing damage, as he only allowed seven baserunners (five hits, a walk, a HBP) and yet more than half of them scored.
The Braves’ offense came mostly from Matt Diaz, who hit a two-run homer in the fourth (scoring Troy Glaus and tying the game) and scored on an Omar Infante single in the sixth, which cut the lead to 4-3. However, he grounded into a double play in the eighth, and that pretty much marked the end of the game, cemented by an Adam Dunn homer in the bottom of the inning off of Takashi Saito.
If Melky Cabrera had done anything it might have been a different game, as the 4-7 hitters had all six of the Braves hits, but all Melky produced in the eighth spot was an intentional walk. Then again, the 1-3 hitters didn’t do squat either except for a two-out walk by Jason Heyward. I just like attacking Melky.
A lot of these came down to two seasons. For instance, catcher is between McCann’s first full season (2005) and Javy’s big year; Javy’s numbers are better and he had the advantage on defense, probably, so it’s actually an easy call, though McCann’s probably been a better hitter on average. First base was the Big Cat versus the Crime Dog (1994); McGriff’s slash numbers were better but in a strike year, so I went with the guy who played a full season. Marcus was an easy call at second, and at third the only question is which Chipper season, and I went with the MVP year. At shortstop, the numbers say Blauser, by a long way, over Furcal and Tony Fernandez.
The best year by a Cox left fielder was actually Chipper’s first year in the outfield, but I didn’t double up. George Bell only broke through the year after Bobby left Toronto. Klesko was a possibility, but his best slash stats came in a strike year (1995) when he was heavily platooned. That leaves the race between Gant and Burroughs, and I went with the latter. Center was pretty easy — Murphy, like Bell, broke out right after Bobby left. Several right fielders (Barfield, Justice) could have made it if I’d taken any outfielder rather than by position. I really wanted to squeeze in Barfield to give Toronto some representation.
The first two pitchers were automatic. Having decided to move Smoltz to closer, Knucksie was the obvious choice for the third spot, where I went with the year he had the best ERA of his time with Bobby. Millwood was a bit of a surprise to me, as I wanted to get Dave Stieb in there, but Stieb’s stats, other than ERA, weren’t really all that impressive, and the year he had his best ERA, 1985, he was only 14-13. Bobby never managed a 20-game winner in Toronto, never really came close. In the bullpen, I went with Smoltz in 2003 over his 55-save season the year before because of his ridiculous K/BB ratio and ERA. If the 2003 team had had any pitching besides Smoltz, it would have been a juggernaut, but it was a team of third starters and fifth relievers except for a couple of stretches by Hampton.
It’s hard to believe that the same team plays behind Tim Hudson as Tommy Hanson. Hudson pitched well, but unlike Hanson he got some sparkling defense when he needed it and some actual runs.
The Braves took a 2-0 lead in the first off of our old friend Livan Hernandez. Prado led off with a single, and Heyward followed with a double down the right-field line. Chipper scored Prado with a flyout, Heyward going to third. After McCann walked, the Braves almost blew their chance at a second run. Eric Hinske struck out on a 3-2 pitch with McCann going; Brian, who was obviously dead if he continued, halted to get into a rundown. Heyward took off for the plate and scored, with McCann going to second after all, the first Braves steal of home in ten years.
Prado, Heyward, and Chipper combined for another run in the fifth, going double-walk-single. That chased Livan, and the Braves couldn’t do anything against the Nats’ bullpen. The run was erased in the bottom of the inning, when Hudson allowed a two-out single to score a run; he only got out of the inning, after a further single, on a comebacker that hit him but he was able to retrieve and throw to first in time.
Hudson did pitch well, seven and two-thirds with seven hits and as many strikeouts, and only walked the last man he faced in the game. He got some good defense, in particular a 3-6-3 GIDP in the third with runners at the corners and one out. Jonny Venters came in to get Adam Dunn to finish the eighth, and Billy Wagner recovered to get the Nats 1-2-3 in the ninth.
Tommy Hanson was great. He went six innings, allowing just six hits and no walks, striking out eight, and 64 of his 88 pitches were strikes. The Nats only had a couple of hard-hit balls. He got a loss, and was charged for three runs, one of them “earned” because the rest of the ballclub decided not to show up.
Stephen Strasburg didn’t show up either, and was replaced as starter at the last minute by Miguel Batista. I don’t want to say that Batista is old, but he helped integrate the Texas League. He hadn’t started in two years and as a reliever had an ERA in the mid-fours, and the Braves got three hits in five innings — or half as many hits as strikeouts — against him.
Meanwhile, the Nats got a run in the first when McCann threw a ball into leftfield with Nyjer Morgan — who had already stolen second — stealing third. In the second, Chipper took a grounder that maybe should have been a double play and certainly should have been at least one out — with the remains of Ivan Rodriguez running, Chipper could have run to first base — and threw it into right to give the Nats runners second and third, nobody out; the next batter singled in two runs.
The Braves rarely threatened, and had only five hits. Eric Hinske had two of them, one a double. They are determined to make a race of this.
Our nation’s capital, Washington DC, was founded in a pestilential swamp on the banks of the Potomac River because George Washington wanted it near his house. The city’s primary industry is politics and government. Since we do not talk about politics on this blog, this post will instead cover all the other interesting things about Washington.
There are no words. The Braves had the bases loaded and one out in the top of the eleventh inning, facing Kim Jong-Il, of all people. Of course, inevitably, Nate Louth was at the plate, in a situation where they couldn’t hit for him (the pitcher on deck, only Omar left on the bench). Of course, inevitably, Louth grounded into a double play. I predicted it, but that wasn’t hard. I have never, ever, seen a player play this badly and not get benched. Of course, inevitably, The Human White Flag came in to pitch the bottom of the inning and allowed consecutive singles, then an intentional walk to load the bases, and finally the inevitable Wes Smelms walkoff single. I’m sick.
The Braves took the lead in the first, with Heyward walking and coming home on a single by McCann. But the Braves blew a chance for lots of runs, as they had the bases loaded and one out (begin and end the game the same way) but Gonzalez popped up and Conrad struck out on a pitch in the dirt. Looking. The umpiring was like that all game. Hinske hit a solo homer in the third to make it 2-0.
The Marlins took the lead with four runs in the fourth, the big blow a triple by Smelms. It was not Jair Jurrjens‘ fault; the umpires, once again, refused to stop the game during a torrential downpour and Jurrjens lost control of the baseball, while balls that were hit skidded willy-nilly. They did stop the game last night for a brief shower, and I can’t understand why they wouldn’t today.
The Braves got a bases-loaded sac fly (see, it is possible, Nate) from Melky in the sixth, then Chipper scored Melky with a pinch double in the eighth to tie the game. He might as well have not bothered. The Braves left eleven men on base and hit into two double plays, and in the ninth inning Bobby had Diaz run for McCann with two out and Glaus at the plate, only for Diaz to get thrown out trying to steal on the first pitch, thereby burning two bench players and removing from the game one of the team’s best hitters, who has killed the Marlins in this series. Earlier, he had run Louth for Hinske, which of course was a killer, especially as he was hitting behind Heyward, who is always on base. Yesterday, the bench moves paid off. Not today.
So, Nate McLouth has been named the Official Braves Journal Whipping Boy, the first permanent BJWB since the trade of Jeff Francoeur. Here to answer the questions you might have about this position is me. Take it away, me:
Q: Who else has been the BJWB?
A: Previous Whipping Boys, before Francoeur, have included secret Canadian Chris Reitsma, human implosion grenade “Kim Jong-il”, the oft-injured Mike Hampton, beer aficionado Dan Kolb, pointless shortstop acquisition Rey Sanchez, the strangely immortal Keith Lockhart, and future insane manager Ozzie Guillen.
Q: How does Whipping Boy status relate to the Lockhart Line?
A: While previous Lockhart Line violators have always been BJWBs, it is not a requirement for the position. Reitsma never crossed the Lockhart Line. Until the Line is crossed, all criticism of the BJWB will be fair. That is, we will point out that McLouth sucks, and will make fun of his play, but will not attack him as a human being.
Q: Wait, Hampton never crossed the line either and you were super mean to him.
A: Yeah, sorry about that. I was a bit frustrated.
Q: What about the Doghouse?
A: The Doghouse is more of a revolving door sort of thing. Anybody who screws up a lot or goes into intractable slumps can go in the Doghouse, but will probably remove himself fairly quickly. Yunel Escobar, before he was traded, was in and out of the Doghouse a lot.
Q: How is BJWB status achieved?
A: While continued poor play is a must, it also requires that the player be given a key role on the team and continue to not thrive in it. This isn’t really the player’s call, of course, though they could always retire. Anyway, just being a terrible bench player, ala Greg Norton, does not qualify for BJWB status. Nor does someone who, like Kenshin Kawakami pitches so little that he may have been kidnapped by aliens.
Q: What about Jo-Jo?
A: Reyes’ appearances were too sporadic for full-time BJWB status.
Q: Is BJWB status permanent?
A: Not necessarily. Nobody has actually removed themselves from the BJWB post due to their play, but it’s always possible. All Whipping Boys have been players who had accomplished something prior to achieving the title — okay, maybe not Francoeur, but even Lockhart had — and returning to that level would, theoretically, remove BJWB status. But don’t count on it.
Q: Can only a player be the Whipping Boy?
A: Only a player can be the permanent Whipping Boy. However, interim BJWB status has been granted to non-players Chip Caray and Brian Snitker at times.
Even PURE EVIL is no match for the powers of Brooks Conrad, folk hero extraordinaire. Conrad’s second pinch-hit homer of the year was only the biggest blow of an eight-run eighth inning that flipped the game around as, once again, the Marlins’ bullpen and infield defense imploded.
The Braves opened the game with a 1-0 lead as The Prado hit another leadoff homer. It’s getting to be a habit with him. But the Marlins tied it up in the bottom of the inning with a HBP, single, and groundout. In the third, Heyward scored on a McCann single to make it 2-1, but once again the Marlins rallied back to take control against Kris Medlen. After tying the game on a double by newly-minted Braves-killer Gaby Sanchez, they took the lead on a two-run homer by veteran Braves-killer Dan Uggla. In the sixth, the guy who stole Mike Stanton’s name hit a solo shot against Medlen to make it 5-2, while the offense was in Hibernation Mode.
Jesse Chavez pitched a perfect seventh, and earned the win when the Braves exploded. Heyward led off with a single. Chipper hit a grounder to third that Jorge Cantu double-botched, though they called it only one error, runners first and third. McCann was hit by a pitch to load the bases, then Glaus drew a walk to make it 5-3. Hinske tied it with a single, scoring Chipper and Diaz (who ran for McCann). AAG tried to bunt and screwed up, but everyone was safe on another Cantu error. Nate Louth, of course, grounded out, but managed to make only one out, a force at the plate, setting the stage for the folk hero. After singles by Prado and Heyward, Chipper grounded out to score another run, making it 10-5.
Venters pitched the last two innings. He gave up a leadoff single to Uggla in the eighth, but pitched around it. In the ninth, he loaded the bases on a walk to Wes Helms, a single, and an infield hit, but somehow got Uggla to ground out to end it.
Heyward had a day of it, going 3-3 with two walks and two runs scored. Bobby emptied his bench, mostly in the eighth inning, and you have to give him credit, despite some odd choices — it worked out.
Why isn’t John Schuerholz getting inducted? He’s eligible (not retired for five years, but retired, and over 65). They’re putting in an umpire for Christ’s sake. Maybe he and Bobby can go in together next year.
